My now three year old middle son has always been quit the handful and challenge. I know from being here that there are many contributing factors. I was already having panic attacks when he was conceived and continued while I was expecting him until shortly after he was born. He was post due and had to be induced. We were just minutes from being able to leave the hospital when they came back to tell us he could not leave yet because he was jaundiced and needed to stay over night at least in the hospital to say on the lights. I was discharged but they had a little room I could stay in while he was there. He was able to go home late the next evening but he needed more light treatment. They arranged for him to have the light treatment at home. He had to stay on the lights for a week. I could only take him off of them to feed and change him. The nurse came every day to check his Billy Ruben count.
Not long after that he started crying for 6 weeks at a time. No other symptoms, so I thought he must just be colicky. He also had a super strong startle reflex. Most babies when you lay them down to sleep will stat a little maybe a little jump and flutter their eyes and go back to sleep. My son would start sitting straight up, eyes wide open and start screaming and crying! I had to either hold him, or go to bed with him to get him to stay asleep, and man talk about fighting sleep. I had to rock him almost aggressively and hum loudly in a monotone. He would fight harder if I sang or spoke sweetly, just seemed to irritate him further. Years later as he would still frequently do the just being intolerably ill for 6 weeks at a time, still no other symptoms, I finally took him to the doctor. He had strep throat. Now as I had learned his symptoms for strep, not only was he having it 4-6 times a year but I realized that was what all that crying most likely was when he was a baby. It escalated to him having strep 5 times in 5 months, so we had his tonsils out. That one thing has just made the most dramatic difference in his behavior and development.
Having his tonsils out had made such a dramatic difference that I was not even sure he still needed the appointment with the behavior therapist. After much thought and observing, I decided that we were still having a big problem in the area of violence. He has improved but not enough. He still gets in trouble several times a day for hitting, punching, and kicking and scratching his brother especially but not exclusively.
So I went for the preliminary appointment and told them all I was concerned about and filled out all the paper work. Then the next appointment was for me to bring him back. We talked about what he was doing that I was worried about and what I was doing about it. I told her all about putting him in time out, even in the grocery store. That when he throws a fit cause he does not like change, so every time we go from one activity to another its time for a fit, that I don't even let him stop me. We would never get any thing done if I stopped every time he threw a fit. So I just pick him up kicking and screaming and go one with what ever I was doing. She ask me how I came up with these techniques and I said trial and error. She said why did you not just give up! I said I think I am just stubborn. She said, I guess we know he comes by it honestly. Ha Ha!
I have read articles about all kinds of things about parenting now, but when I started with my first born I did not know what I was doing and I was doing the same thing with him... The difference is that because the second son was more difficult I faltered from my technique searching desperately for any thing that would work better. Surely even with the research I have done, is not all parenting trial and error.
She said my techniques were well researched and recommended a little tweaking. One thing she recommended was that when it came time for time out that time out does not count until they are sitting still and being quiet. I had not cared if they cried and did not like it, after all its a punishment. The first few days of making my son stay still and quiet for just 3 minutes were not pleasant. The first night he stayed for two hours before he finally sat still and was quiet for 3 minutes. The second night it was three hours and he only sat still and quiet finally because he nodded off as it was bed time. She also recommended a time out last 1 and 1 half minute per year of their age. I have had such a hard time getting just the three minutes out of my son that I thought I would build up to that time gradually.
Of course no change like this just works out smoothly. For privacy sake I will just say, one member of my family said they flat out refuse to do this technique when they have the kids and that I must have misunderstood the therapist and they were going to call the therapist because my son was not capable of this. I only even bring that part up, because I know I am not the only person to face some adversity when it comes to seeking consistent discipline for the kids. I can't say that I even know the exact solution for this type of problem. All I can say is that I did then, and have continued since, standing up for my choice as the parent of these children.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy
One of my family members posted this link to their facebook this morning. I found it equally inspirational as the one I shared the link for last week, 15 Differences Between Happy and Unhappy People! I am always encouraged when I read one of these things and realize how many of these suggestions that I already knew, understood, or live by. I also find it very inspirational to read suggestions that apply to areas of life that I am currently dealing with. To read that what I was thinking, but lacking confidence in, is the right answer is really encouraging! I think we all find it inspirational when we find something that we did not even realize was part of the problem. Talk about all of the time and effort saved by finding the right advice at the right time.
It is truly difficult for me to pick a few of these fifteen as more applicable to my life and what I have been going through currently. I can not begin to express how this morning specifically was just the right time for me to find and read this! I think one of these 15 that I have to admit really sunk in for me is to give up your need to impress others. I think that it was not my true intention to please people but that I grew so tired of being so different and feeling so discriminated against and thinking my family was suffering for my unique, independent, eccentric personality. Now on the opposite side of people pleasing I am back where I had been when I was a teenager and finally stopped people pleasing. I realize that people are always going to be critical and controlling and discriminate no matter how far you go to please them. Sadly the same people are always just as critical, controlling and discriminative. If I am going to catch the same malarkey either way I might as well be living and enjoying my life to the fullest!
Another one that I found inspirational is giving up attachment. I suppose I had never heard or read put into words the difference in being attached to some one or thing and loving some one or thing. The difference being attachment is formed in fear and love is pure and kind and selfless. Giving up on all attachments leads us to peace! I think some where in my mind I knew or have experienced this difference. It is really helpful to see it put into words.
Giving up living to other peoples expectations to me really ties together with giving up needing to impress people. To me all of the criticism and discrimination and negativity and disapproval would go away if I just try to at least outwardly try to behave in a situational appropriate method. The same way I would behave professionally at a job, I would just do the same thing for people who were not comfortable with my true self. The problem is that that is almost every one all the way down to the nearest and dearest. In one way or another all but every single person in my life has one problem with me or another with me, my opinions, my optimism, my beliefs, my fashion since, music taste etc... This article is dead on when they say the problem with this is that sooner or later you forget about your self and who you are and what you like and love! I have been drowning in this for so long now.
I am so glad to have had the opportunity to read this article. I am even more glad to have to opportunity to share it with all of you!
Here's the link!
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
It is truly difficult for me to pick a few of these fifteen as more applicable to my life and what I have been going through currently. I can not begin to express how this morning specifically was just the right time for me to find and read this! I think one of these 15 that I have to admit really sunk in for me is to give up your need to impress others. I think that it was not my true intention to please people but that I grew so tired of being so different and feeling so discriminated against and thinking my family was suffering for my unique, independent, eccentric personality. Now on the opposite side of people pleasing I am back where I had been when I was a teenager and finally stopped people pleasing. I realize that people are always going to be critical and controlling and discriminate no matter how far you go to please them. Sadly the same people are always just as critical, controlling and discriminative. If I am going to catch the same malarkey either way I might as well be living and enjoying my life to the fullest!
Another one that I found inspirational is giving up attachment. I suppose I had never heard or read put into words the difference in being attached to some one or thing and loving some one or thing. The difference being attachment is formed in fear and love is pure and kind and selfless. Giving up on all attachments leads us to peace! I think some where in my mind I knew or have experienced this difference. It is really helpful to see it put into words.
Giving up living to other peoples expectations to me really ties together with giving up needing to impress people. To me all of the criticism and discrimination and negativity and disapproval would go away if I just try to at least outwardly try to behave in a situational appropriate method. The same way I would behave professionally at a job, I would just do the same thing for people who were not comfortable with my true self. The problem is that that is almost every one all the way down to the nearest and dearest. In one way or another all but every single person in my life has one problem with me or another with me, my opinions, my optimism, my beliefs, my fashion since, music taste etc... This article is dead on when they say the problem with this is that sooner or later you forget about your self and who you are and what you like and love! I have been drowning in this for so long now.
I am so glad to have had the opportunity to read this article. I am even more glad to have to opportunity to share it with all of you!
Here's the link!
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
Friday, May 11, 2012
Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo
I found this recipe for Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo about a year ago! I really love the benefits of oat beauty products. They can be very pricey, so I was super excited to find this! Of course I have tried this recipe a few different ways so I will tell you the way this web site recommends and the way I tried it and liked it!
Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo!
1. Boil two cups of water.
2. After water is boiling fold in 1/2 cup of oatmeal. (like from the big tube)
3. Stir and let boil for about a minute.
4. Turn off heat and continue stirring.
5. Let cool for about 20 minutes.
6. Strain with coffee filter to leave only the fluid.
7. Add your favorite essential oil's like lavender.
To use just put the drained fluid in practically any type of container and take to the shower or tub. Wet hair thoroughly. Gently pour fluid content onto your scalp and hair. Leave it on for about one minute. Rinse thoroughly with warm water. Then rinse thoroughly with cool water.
Vinegar Conditioning rinse!
1. 1/2 cup water
2. 2 tablespoons apple cyder vinegar.
3. Stir.
To use just pour mixture carefully on scalp and hair and then rinse with warm water then cool water. This conditioning rinse may not be safe for color treated hair.
Now for my adaptation.
1. Follow the same recipe above for Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo. ( I don't use essential oils but I want to try.)
2. I could not get the fluid through my coffee filters so I use a wire mesh hand held tea strainer.
I love using this oatmeal shampoo recipe. It makes my hair feel as soft as my 16 month old baby girl! I can't wait to research homemade shampoo on the internet again soon to try to find new ideas to try out! I also like to make a larger amount of this recipe and use this as a body wash. I like to use the homemade oatmeal face scrub on my body as well. This Oatmeal shampoo is a little easier clean up after words. It is a food product so always remember to clean up thoroughly when you are done!
Here's the website!
http://www.ehow.com/way_5317649_homemade-remedies-dry-hair.html
Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo!
1. Boil two cups of water.
2. After water is boiling fold in 1/2 cup of oatmeal. (like from the big tube)
3. Stir and let boil for about a minute.
4. Turn off heat and continue stirring.
5. Let cool for about 20 minutes.
6. Strain with coffee filter to leave only the fluid.
7. Add your favorite essential oil's like lavender.
To use just put the drained fluid in practically any type of container and take to the shower or tub. Wet hair thoroughly. Gently pour fluid content onto your scalp and hair. Leave it on for about one minute. Rinse thoroughly with warm water. Then rinse thoroughly with cool water.
Vinegar Conditioning rinse!
1. 1/2 cup water
2. 2 tablespoons apple cyder vinegar.
3. Stir.
To use just pour mixture carefully on scalp and hair and then rinse with warm water then cool water. This conditioning rinse may not be safe for color treated hair.
Now for my adaptation.
1. Follow the same recipe above for Homemade Oatmeal Shampoo. ( I don't use essential oils but I want to try.)
2. I could not get the fluid through my coffee filters so I use a wire mesh hand held tea strainer.
I love using this oatmeal shampoo recipe. It makes my hair feel as soft as my 16 month old baby girl! I can't wait to research homemade shampoo on the internet again soon to try to find new ideas to try out! I also like to make a larger amount of this recipe and use this as a body wash. I like to use the homemade oatmeal face scrub on my body as well. This Oatmeal shampoo is a little easier clean up after words. It is a food product so always remember to clean up thoroughly when you are done!
Here's the website!
http://www.ehow.com/way_5317649_homemade-remedies-dry-hair.html
Friday, May 4, 2012
Homemade Oatmeal Face Scrub
I found these websites almost a year ago. I have psoriasis and sensitive skin and I am allergic to lanolin so it is hard for me to find practically any skin product that does not irritate my skin. I love using Aveno Oatmeal products but they are so expensive I can't afford to buy them often. I wanted to find out what I could make at home that would give me the results I wanted with out the price hefty price tag.
The first of these is a homemade oatmeal scrub. This website has several varieties of oatmeal scrub. I will tell you three of these and then one that I put together that I am happy with the results. I gathered this information as well as other information about home remedies for my skin problems. I put all of this information together in one scrub. To me one of the best things about making any thing at home is how easily you can make it exactly what you need!
Most Basic Oatmeal Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons of oatmeal. (like from the big tube of oats)
2. 2 tablespoons of water.
Mix these two ingredients together and use to scrub your face. You can leave it on for 3 minutes for better results. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and then slash with cold water. That's all. I have learned that you can play with the quantity of oats and water to get the consistency that you like the best.
Oat and Baking Soda Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Baking Soda
3. 2 tablespoons Water.
The instructions are the same as above for all Oatmeal Scrub recipes!
Oat and Apple Cyder Vinegar Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Apple Cyder Vinegar.
3. 2 tablespoons Water.
Again, instructions are the same as above!
Now for my personal Oat Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Baking Soda.
3. 2 tablespoons Apple Cyder Vinegar.
4. 2 tablespoons Water.
Same instructions!
I like to make any of these wonderful Oatmeal Scrubs to a larger quantity and use them in the shower as a body scrub as well. I love these scrubs so much I want to use them every day. The only reason I do not use them every day is simple convenience. I don't always have time to run to the kitchen and even do this quick easy prep and take it to the shower and scrub down and wait three minutes and rinse with warm and then with cold. I curse the ease of use of conventional body wash. (Ha ha) One thing to remember! These scrubs are made from food products so you will need to clean your sink or tub or shower area very well when you are done!
The first of these is a homemade oatmeal scrub. This website has several varieties of oatmeal scrub. I will tell you three of these and then one that I put together that I am happy with the results. I gathered this information as well as other information about home remedies for my skin problems. I put all of this information together in one scrub. To me one of the best things about making any thing at home is how easily you can make it exactly what you need!
Most Basic Oatmeal Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons of oatmeal. (like from the big tube of oats)
2. 2 tablespoons of water.
Mix these two ingredients together and use to scrub your face. You can leave it on for 3 minutes for better results. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and then slash with cold water. That's all. I have learned that you can play with the quantity of oats and water to get the consistency that you like the best.
Oat and Baking Soda Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Baking Soda
3. 2 tablespoons Water.
The instructions are the same as above for all Oatmeal Scrub recipes!
Oat and Apple Cyder Vinegar Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Apple Cyder Vinegar.
3. 2 tablespoons Water.
Again, instructions are the same as above!
Now for my personal Oat Scrub
1. 2 tablespoons Oats.
2. 2 tablespoons Baking Soda.
3. 2 tablespoons Apple Cyder Vinegar.
4. 2 tablespoons Water.
Same instructions!
I like to make any of these wonderful Oatmeal Scrubs to a larger quantity and use them in the shower as a body scrub as well. I love these scrubs so much I want to use them every day. The only reason I do not use them every day is simple convenience. I don't always have time to run to the kitchen and even do this quick easy prep and take it to the shower and scrub down and wait three minutes and rinse with warm and then with cold. I curse the ease of use of conventional body wash. (Ha ha) One thing to remember! These scrubs are made from food products so you will need to clean your sink or tub or shower area very well when you are done!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
15 Differences Between Happy People and Unhappy People
A friend of mine posted this link to my facebook today and I found it very inspirational. This article talks about 15 things that are different between happy and unhappy people. I guess every one wants to know how to be more happy, so of course I read it! I would say most of the things on this list I was either aware of or actively do in my life. I found some of these things I do but don't actually think about it or how it effects my personal happiness or how my doing things this way effect how I interact with other people.
This article is explaining how when happy people do any of these 15 things verses the opposite of that characteristic that is typical the behavior of the unhappy person it usually is irritating to the negative person. One of the things that I have had a hard time understanding is why when I am around negative people they criticize me and are irritated and, well just so negative towards me. I learned today that this is one obvious sign that I am in the positive when I experience this.
I seem to always need reminding about positive reinforcement with my children. It is easy to get off track when you are knee deep in the thick of behavior issues with your children. I have personally never responded to criticism the way a critical person would hope, or even the way I would hope. It is easy for me to forget that there is an opposite to criticism and that is positive reinforcement. This much needed reminder is inspirational to me!
One of the things that also truly inspired me was about living life with meaning and that leading to a life of abundance. A life of abundance does not have to be what our modern day society would call successful. I think this is one thing that I needed that reinforcement from an out side source. Reading this article gave me that boost that I needed to know that I am not just a complete idiot who does not value the right things!
I really could just go on and on about every little part of this article that was meaningful to me. I really hope all of you will read this one for your self!
Here is the link!
http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/
This article is explaining how when happy people do any of these 15 things verses the opposite of that characteristic that is typical the behavior of the unhappy person it usually is irritating to the negative person. One of the things that I have had a hard time understanding is why when I am around negative people they criticize me and are irritated and, well just so negative towards me. I learned today that this is one obvious sign that I am in the positive when I experience this.
I seem to always need reminding about positive reinforcement with my children. It is easy to get off track when you are knee deep in the thick of behavior issues with your children. I have personally never responded to criticism the way a critical person would hope, or even the way I would hope. It is easy for me to forget that there is an opposite to criticism and that is positive reinforcement. This much needed reminder is inspirational to me!
One of the things that also truly inspired me was about living life with meaning and that leading to a life of abundance. A life of abundance does not have to be what our modern day society would call successful. I think this is one thing that I needed that reinforcement from an out side source. Reading this article gave me that boost that I needed to know that I am not just a complete idiot who does not value the right things!
I really could just go on and on about every little part of this article that was meaningful to me. I really hope all of you will read this one for your self!
Here is the link!
http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/
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